How to watch the game 8 hours late… in style

January 11, 2009 by Martin Banks
Filed under: Aston Villa, Match Reports 

0pic12So the weekends approaching and the missus decides she wants to go out for the day on Saturday, but the problem is that the Villa are playing at 12.45 in a local derby. She’s on maternity leave and doesn’t drive, so is cooped up in the house all day while it’s been so cold here. The good husband in me gets the better of me and I agree to it.

‘Head out early and watch wherever you’re going’, I hear you say, well you clearly don’t know my wife! Getting out of bed and getting ready early isn’t really her strong point. There’s no way I’m not watching the game though, so a plan is devised; my dad is recording the match for me (on DVD, VHS and onto his Sky+ box, I’m taking no risks there) and I’ll avoid football all day, then watch the match on Saturday night.

As expected, the wife rises late and we don’t end up leaving the house till after 11 and I make sure I’m not wearing any ‘colours’, so no-one strikes up a football conversation with me. We are going on a mini tour round Shropshire, a lovely countryside county of England, with loads of history and all that good stuff. We visit Oswestry, Shrewsbury and Bridgnorth and generally have a very nice day. With ‘rules’ though…

Every pub, coffee shop, mall, shop and even curry house we enter has to be pre-scouted by the wife to sweep for TVs with Sky Sports News on, radio’s playing, fans in Villa/Baggies shirts looking happy/sad, anything that might give me an inkling to the result of the game that has by now already happened. With a number of pubs avoided for reasons that would normally draw me in (football!), we successfully see through most of the day with no idea of the games events.

Final stop is at a curry house in Bridgnorth for some grub before heading home for beer and football. I even go to all the tables within earshot and tell them not to mention the Aston Villa game! My wife tells me if I didn’t eavesdrop I wouldn’t have a problem, but I’m not taking any chances, I’ve come too far to fail now.

We enjoy a lovely curry (though I fear I may regret the extra green chillies tomorrow), and I ask for the bill. Almost there now. With it paid, my wife heads out to the car with our daughter and I go for a piddle before the drive home. I’m excited. The game took place 7 hours ago, I’ve managed to keep myself in the dark and now I’m heading home to watch it as if it were live. And I have a crate of German lager in the fridge too!

Then walking out the restaurant, disaster strikes in my very last seconds with human contact. The waiter welcomes a new customer through the door as I’m walking out of it and says “Good evening mate, how did your team get on today?” and the guy replies in a thick West Bromwich accent and I hear the one thing I’ve spent the day avoiding. The goddamn score!

I’m fuming as I get in the car and I drive home in a full-on teenage-boy-style strop. I collect the DVD (and VHS back up) from my dads and go home to watch a game that I know the result of and was also told is ‘dull’. I stick it in, but by now my emphasis is on the beer in the fridge more than the ‘dull’ game I know the score of.

19 minutes pass and West Brom are playing better than us, but I know the ending, they aren’t going to score. And neither are we; “0-0 mate, what a dull game”. I know the ending, I know there’s no goals, some dumbass Baggies fan in a curry house already told me. But then Curtis Davies heads Barry’s cross past Scott Carson and I can’t see any offside flags, the ref is allowing it. What’s going on? YEEESSSS!!! I jump off the settee, wake my 6 month old daughter and make her cry, but I don’t care. He wasn’t a Baggies fan! He must’ve been a glory hunting Liverpool fan. Unless he was the Black Country’s sole Stoke fan!

Game on. I was loving it, not only were we winning and heading for third, but two minutes ago I’d been convinced I was in for 90 minutes of dull, goalless football. Time to head to the fridge for more beer, this time in celebration not commiseration. I then proceed to thoroughly enjoy watching us win this year’s local derby by 2 goals to 1.

It wasn’t the greatest game on earth but it had it’s moments and once again we played averagely and won. That’s a good habit to have. We are now unbeaten in 9 games, collecting 21 from 27 available points and we are still to play our best.

Now I don’t recommend this kind of day to anyone, as it has so much propensity to go wrong (and also because avoiding football is not natural). I would normally recommend going to the game or at least watch it live, but we have a young baby, my wife is stuck at home all week as she’s on maternity leave and we can’t afford a second car and blah blah blah, so I agreed to a day out. But I got lucky and it was fantastic.

It’s always great to watch your team win. It’s even better when it’s against the team that most your mates support and even better than that when you are under the impression they drew 0-0.


Comments

One Comment on How to watch the game 8 hours late… in style

  1. Simon Preston on Sun, 11th Jan 2009 10:04

    2. Mart, I’m absolutely loving the lengths you went to to not find out the score. Even texting me telling me not to say anything (I can’t help it if I get overexcited). You are a true mans man and I salute you!

    Anyways, isn’t this Man U vs Chelsea game a strangeun? No matter the result, Villa benefit in some way. Should Man U win we stay a point behind Chelsea and are right in it. Should Chelsea win we stay 3rd – 3 points above Utd. If it’s a draw we maintain ground with Chelsea AND stay 3rd. It’s win-win all round.

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